Back-to-school season, like all major transitions in life, can be equal parts exciting and stressful for both kids and parents or caregivers. A new school year brings the promise of new opportunities for learning and fun, new friendships, and much more, but can also trigger feelings of anxiety and worry in kids of all ages as well as the adults in their lives.
If you find that you and your child are dreading the start of school more than anticipating it, you’re not alone! More importantly, you’re not without options. There are lots of ways that you can work together to reduce back-to-school stress and make this fall easier and more pleasant for you both. Here’s what you need to know!
What Causes Back-to-School Stress?
For both kids and parents, the root causes of stress around returning to school can be multidimensional. Oftentimes, there’s more than one reason that the first day of school is keeping you up at night. The difficulty of getting back into a schooltime routine after the summer can be a major contributing factor, with children and adults dreading the thought of early mornings and dropoff traffic. Educational anxiety is also incredibly common, especially for children and older teens. A child that seeks to strive for good grades and educational success is one thing– a child that’s experiencing undue stress over the thought of academic struggles is another thing altogether.
Sometimes, school stress can also be environmental. If your child is facing a big transition in their schooling, such as starting a new school or entering higher level classes for the first time, it’s only natural that they feel anxious. On the other hand, they might be dreading a less-than-ideal situation that’s been plaguing them at school, like bullying.
How Can My Child and I Manage Back-to-School Stress?
A lot of back to school stress for both kids and parents can be managed with the right preparation and coping strategies before the start of the year. The thought of getting back into a morning routine can cause entire families to break a sweat, but spending a week or so at the end of the summer doing practice runs where everyone gets up and ready on time to prepare for the first day of school can work out a lot of kinks ahead of time. If your child is stressed about managing their workload this year, working with them to develop a schedule for homework and studying might help to alleviate their fears. For older students, you can even reach out to their teachers for a syllabus to help your child anticipate large projects ahead of time.
For kids who are entering a new situation in school, like advancing to high school or moving to a new area, preparation reduced anxiety as well. Contact administrators or school counselors to see if you and your child might be allowed to walk around the school building before the start of classes so that your kid can locate classrooms on their schedule, bathrooms, the lunchroom, and other important landmarks without crowds of other students around. You can also ask teachers or administrators if any clubs or sports have meetings or events during the summer that your child could join. This could be a great way for them to make a few friends in a more low-pressure situation so that they already know a few friendly faces in the halls by the time the first day rolls around.
Lastly, if you suspect that something is going on at school that your child hasn’t been telling you, like a bullying situation, make sure you let them know before the start of school that you’re always around to talk to, and that you can help them find solutions for any problems they might be facing during the school day. Kids might not answer direct, probing questions about any issues they’ve been having at school, but if you as a parent work to make it clear that you’re a safe person to come to for help, they’ll likely open up with time.
How Do I Know When to Get More Help?
It’s very normal for both parents and children to be a little less than thrilled about the prospect of going back to school, but how do you know when something more serious is going on? As a general rule of thumb, if the stress that you or your child feel is getting in the way of your normal daily life, it’s time to seek out more help. This could mean disturbances in sleep or appetite, refusal to go to school, or for younger children, frequent unexplained physical symptoms like headaches or stomach aches that might correspond to anxiety or stress. Speaking to a doctor, your child’s pediatrician, or to a mental health professional like a therapist might all be good ideas in these situations.
If this isn’t the first time that you or your child has struggled with their mental health, you might feel that you have already exhausted options like medication and therapy. In that case, treatments like transcranial magnetic stimulation might be a good fit! You can learn more about this option and how it can help your family here.